2005


A storm within: spells of Depression.
The clouds surround my world.

Hovering overhead
each day, the next I dread.
It begins to rain.
A tear slides down my cheek.

I drag myself to walk-
slow paced and hesitant.
The sky gets darker
as the clouds move in.

A storm is coming.

I grind my teeth in anguish-
an emotional overflow.
I want to scream; I want to cry.
I throw a book against the wall.

Thunder.

Everything in sight
sits on the floor or across the room.
I travel in circles;
my world spirals.

A Tornado.

I close my eyes and scream.
Releasing my storm within.
When my eyes open, everything's okay.
The sun is shining and birds are chirping.

I go on about my day.


Lost Love
Some days are better than others.
She looks out her window reminiscing the times they had -
The places they’ve gone, the firsts they’ve shared.
She walks away, just like he once did.
As she goes downstairs, she notices something shiny wedged into the corner of the carpet.
She picks it up. It was his.
She opens the door and throws it in the road.
Several cars zoom over it, crushing it into the pavement.
A smile stretches across her face.
It’s nice weather out, she grabs her keys and locks the door behind her.
Alone, she walks across the street to a nearby dog park.
There’s a couple there with a daschund puppy running around.
She seats herself on a bench nearby, watching the puppy play.
The couple chat, and lean in for a kiss. The girl watches them.
She closes her eyes. She can almost feel his soft lips pressing against hers.
The puppy barks. Her eyes open, no one is there.
She watches as the couple rise, holding hands, laughing.
She remembers when he would hold her hand proudly- often resisting it at times because she was afraid.
Uncomfortable, she too stands up and makes her way back home.
She crosses the street and notices something strange from afar.
There’s a note taped to her door. It’s from him.
She glances around abruptly. Where is he? Where is he?
She sees his car driving away on the lonely road.


Blythe doll
Her eyes, they change, amazing but true.
From pink to orange to green to blue.

Her head, it's HUGE, though her body is small
All together she towers 12 inches tall.

Her nose is miniature, oh so tiny
and unfortunately for you, so is her hiney.

Her ears, they look like a fetus in a womb-
well maybe, not quite- perhaps a legume.

Her lips, so stoic, so unbelievably dull-
Oh, who am I kidding? What the hell is this doll?!

Friends
The puppy whimpers,
trapped within the cold steal cage
waiting for a friend.

As the door opens,
the dogs start to bark and jump.
A family walks in.

Hopeful is the pup
as he eyes the little girl.
She could be his friend.

The family walks through,
stopping at the puppy's cage.
The girl comes closer.

She smiles at him.
He sticks his nose out the door
and licks her small hand.

"That's the one" she screams
they arrange to take him home.
"I'll call him Buddy".

And Buddy it was.
Their friendship grew like they did-
bigger by the day.

Every moment spent
provided them happiness
and brightened their lives.

Insomnia
The sun sets and all is quiet.
Who would have thought it began as a riot?
The days events lead to this-
A time of peace; a time to reminisce.
The air is chilled
And Time is stilled.
The stars begin to saturate the sky.
The crickets begin to chirp and cry.

Now it’s time to close your eyes-
To dream and sleep and say good-bye.
Get your rest for the day comes soon,
And then your schedule will have no room.
Sleep is natural, sleep is great.
Now come on, hurry up before it’s too late.


2004

Us...
I dream about you.
I think about us.
I wish it didn't hurt
so incredibly much.
I feel so empty.
I feel so distraught.
What was once filled,
content and satisfied,
is nothing but pain,
loneliness and misery.
I don't know why
I feel I have to apologize.
What did I do
to be hated by you?
I know it's gone,
everything we had,
but why must I dwell-
be depressed and sad.
My heart aches.
My brain throbs.
I can't make any sense
of these past few months

"There's no use crying over spilt milk"
...but what if that milk is really my blood?
What if that glass is really my heart?
What if the pain is too much to handle?
Where do I go?
Who do I turn to?
Who can understand my feelings?
Is it you?
Are you just as happy as I am now?
Or is it all a scheme...a foolish act?
Bravo! Bravo!
I'll give you that


Love...
Love should come
with a warning label.
There should be some
sort of sign that says
whether it's "good to go".
Your heart says yes,
but your brain says no.
The choice is entirely yours,
but in the end someone is hurt.

The pain I feel.
The emptiness I have.
I wonder if I've really gone mad.
What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
Did I miss a turn
or have I gone too far?

Life is funny...
you don't know for sure
until you're done it,
and after that...
there's no going back.


Dry
I've cried so much
the tears have died.
I've tried so hard
I still ache inside.

I don't need this-
this unwanted bliss.

I want to be free-
emotional stability.




2000/2001

Where? -after a poem by Kathleen Rain
I have no house
I pass throuch places
I am indifferent wind.
I am my own
I do what I can
And not what I can't.
I hear the voices
I become what they say
I do what they want.
I am no longer my own,
but a person in denial.
I am lost within my body.
I am the last leaf on a tree.
I am the only shell in the ocean.
I am the last star in the night.

An Artist in the Making
With my paints and ink
it kind of makes you think,
of what you can see
if you set your mind to it.
Anything at all
set on paper or even the wall.
Using words or a brush,
nothing like mush,
but a wonderful thing to recall.
It may not be the best,
but certainly not the worst.
For what is in my mind
cannot be refined.
It's original and a first.
This poem may not be good
and possibly misunderstood.
But all that matters
is that it flatters
myself and isn't withstood.

My Hopes and Wishes and Dreams
I hope for a better life.
With people who care about me.
With people who love me.
Where everything is alright.

I wish for a loving family.
With a loving husband.
and loving children.
Where everyone is polite.

I dream of great success.
Of becoming my childhood dream.
Of being an Artist
Where I am known everywhere.

Remember When...
Remember when you first met
this shy and timid unloved brunette?
Remember when we talked and talked
for hours and never even balked?
Remember when we fell in love?
As if it was a gift from above...
Remember when you held my hand?
Which was something you could not withstand...
Remember when we danced and danced?
The feeling was so very romanced...
Remember when we kissed and kissed?
With such a feeling I would never dis...
Remember when you held me tight?
and everything seemed completely right...
Do you Remember this? Or is this something you would rather reminisce?

So many feelings
I have so many feelings that I can not describe.
Sometimes they make me just want to crawl up and hide.
But when I see a familiar face,
A loving face; A face I would never replace
A happy feeling comes upon me and I get all warm inside.

All © Alina Bachmann